Let me start by saying at least these people are sending something. That alone beats 85% who don't get around to it.
But let's take two minutes to look at some issues so you don't make the same mistakes.
Typos
It might be my Gen X need for correct grammar and punctuation, but I'm guessing the subject line missing a capital letter is a typo, not intentional. Small things like that undermine your credibility before anyone reads a word of your message.
Data Quality
I've authored several books, but "Pupil to Parent" isn't one of them. I assume this is a pattern problem in their software, but that's a big problem if you're sending at scale. Check these things.
Side note on data quality: I already have a 200+ episode podcast. So not a good fit in the first place. That's a slightly harder problem to fix.
The P.S. Problem
Ok, this is the big one and the main reason for this post. Your message needs to be clear enough so it doesn't need a clarifying P.S.
I'm assuming the addition was based on feedback and the P.S. wasn't the first draft, but this is the weirdest fix I've seen for a long time.
Your message needs to be clear enough so it doesn't need a clarifying P.S. If you need to explain what you meant, rewrite the message.
I actually don't think the original message was confusing to people who read it. So does that mean the message needs to be punchier? Here's a tighter version:
Hello NAME, I saw you're the author of TITLE. A podcast talking about SUBJECT would be really interesting. Have you ever thought of hosting your own show? We create podcasts like this and take care of all the technical bits so you just need an hour a month to record. I have the outline here, can I send it to you?
The Hidden Opportunity
Here's something interesting they may have stumbled into. If people are replying wanting to be a guest to promote their book, that's a perfect spare capacity strategy.
They could create a "Page to Pod" podcast that interviews authors and talks about using their book as a reason to be a podcast guest. For leads who don't reply, or who mistakenly reply wanting to be a guest, offer a spot on the show. It starts a relationship that naturally opens the next step: "It was great having you on the show. There's lots more there. You should have your own show."
That leads to case study material. X was a guest on our show, now has their own.
Sometimes the best opportunities hide inside the mistakes.
